lonely again
every night like the last
wishing for company on the couch, in my bed

hearing the neighbors but not feeling their presence,
smelling their food and having nothing to eat
how will i fall asleep tonight?
alone and thinking, dreaming
of some distant future
where promises will come true,
where sheets will be soft and clean
and my company will not snore with the scent of alcohol

doors slam and i feel a fear that parents are fighting
always jumpy at these noises
though i wish they were my own

---------------------------------------------

when will you find me
black-toothed and burnt up
from a life unprotected,
existance in the cold nights alone

days when i walked in dirt,
red dust rising around my shoes,
i felt convinced that some desert life would find me
and i'd never recede into shadows, never feel the black coldness
of nights alone, alienated on my own back porch
wishing for a dog, a friend

the longer it takes you,
the more eaten-up i'll become
hollow and mindless and unable to relate to you

but if you can't come,
if you can't commit to a rescue from lonliness,
at least send me money
i'm hungry and cold.