mary

My mother named me mary
Before she realized the implications

There is a conflict there
And in a sense most girls are marys
Doomed to either chastity or promiscuity
No middle ground to escape sexual ostracism

I was not born to abstinence
Nor, I like to think, to excess
And it was not my goal to remain ignorant for so long
Or to be passed around in homes that weren’t even my own

I had hoped I would have a choice
Uncommon to most women
But available to me
Because I assumed I lived a fortunate life

But my mother named me mary